Naked Thunder, Exposed Danger
by DangernThunder
Summary: Max wants Dr. Minyak's latest weapon without realizing what it does. When Captain Man and Kid Danger arrive, a fight breaks out and the weapon is fired, putting Kid Danger, Max, and his brother Billy into a very awkward adventure. No sex involved, just lots and lots of nudity played for laughs.
1. Chapter 1

"You said we were going to get ice cream," Billy Thunder said in an annoyed tone as he looked around the street he'd supersped his big brother Max to. "This doesn't look like the ice cream store."

"I said we were going to get ice cream, I just didn't say when," Max told him as he rubbed his hands together in glee at looking at what was supposed to be an empty warehouse. Inside, however, was the lair of a notorious supervillain. "I just have to make one quick stop and then we'll go get ice cream."

"How come you just didn't have Chloe teleport you?" Billy asked.

"Because Dad said I'm off limits from using her powers," Max said. "Use your baby sister to teleport you into the Pentagon one time... Look, just help me get in here, and I'll treat you to the biggest ice cream cone you've ever seen."

"Bigger than my head?" Billy asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Uh... yeah," Max said. "Now, just run through the building and if there's any guard-"

 _ **ZIP!**_

"It's clear," Billy told him, his head filled with thoughts of ice cream now.

"Alright, let's do this," Max said as he held out his hand and opened the door with his telekinesis. "You didn't tell Phoebe we were coming here, did you?"

"And let her have some of the ice cream? No way!" Billy told him. "That head sized cone is mine."

* * *

Meanwhile, on a rooftop across the street, Kid Danger and Captain Man were just arriving.

"This is it," Captain Man said as he looked through his binoculars. "This is Dr. Minyak's new hideout. And if I'm right, he's got a very powerful new weapon that he's going to use to harm the people of Swellview."

"What kind of weapon?" Kid Danger asked.

"The kind... that hurts people," Captain Man said.

"Yeah, but what kind-"

"No time, let's move!" Captain Thunder shouted.

* * *

"So, what are we looking for?" Billy asked.

"A laser," Max said. "It'll be big with flashing lights on it. I really want it so I can take over the world with it."

"What does it do?" Billy asked.

"I... don't know," Max said as he paused. "But it has to be something really world dominationally. It was all over the League of Evil message boards. If I can get ahold of it, "i'll really prove myself."

"Hey, Max," Billy said as he heard his big brother's plans. "What kind of ice cream are you going to get?"

"Would you forget about the ice cream?" Max asked. "Help me find the laser!"

As they continued on, Captain Man and Kid Danger had snuck into the building, which was when Kid Thunder saw Max. "Aw, man, it's that guy again."

"Yes... that guy," Captain Man said as he saw the two boys. "Who is he again?"

"Max Thunderman? The guy who nearly got us killed the last time when we went undercover at the Toddler's villain team-up meeting?" Kid Danger asked. "He had you trapped in a block of cement and was going to throw you off a train?"

"Nope, doesn't sound familiar at all," Captain Man said.

"There it is!" Max said as he saw the laser. He ran up and gave it a big hug. "Don't worry, you're going to love your new home."

"You need a girlfriend," Billy said.

"I have a girlfriend," Max reminded him.

"Oh," Billy said. "Then I need a girlfriend."

"Unhand that laser, evil doer!" Kid Danger shouted.

"Aw, man, it's those guys again," Max said as he put the laser down onto the table. "I get airsick now because of you guys."

"Hey, I know you!" Captain Man shouted as he pointed at Max. "You nearly had me thrown off of a train!"

Kid Danger just rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers, just as Dr. Minyak entered with several goons behind him.

"Well, well, if it isn't Captain Man," Dr. Minyak said as he looked at the boys. "And... friends."

"Hey, we have names!" Kid Danger shouted.

"Yeah!" Billy added. "I'm... darnit!" Billy looked at the palm of his hand. "Oh, yeah, I'm Billy!"

"I don't care!" Dr. Minyak shouted. "Destroy them all!"

The minions rushed toward them as Billy, Max, and Kid Danger started fighting for their lives. Meanwhile, Captain Man started chasing Dr. Minyak around the table.

"Don't hurt me, I bruise easily!" the evil doctor shouted.

One of the minions threw a punch at Billy, who ducked, causing the man to punch another minion to the ground. Another minion grabbed him from behind as he started vibrating to shake him off, forcing him to drop Billy before Max punched the man out.

Meanwhile, another minion ran toward Kid Danger, who fell backward, tossing the minion into a wall, where he got stuck halfway in. As he got up, another minion came toward him, where Kid Danger found himself back to back with Max.

"So, is your sister seeing anybody?" Kid Danger asked as both boys ducked, causing the minions to knock each other out.

Captain Man was still chasing Dr. Minyak around the table, when he stopped and picked up the laser.

"I still have no idea what this laser does, but now's the perfect time to find out!" Dr . Minyak shouted. "Goodbye, Captain Man!"

Minyak fired the laser as Captain Man ducked, but the laser then instead hit Kid Danger, Max, and Billy, who were all standing behind him. The three boys started convulsing and fell to the ground, totally unharmed.

"Hey, that's my sidekick!" Captain Man shouted as he grabbed the laser and tossed it to the ground, shattering it. He grabbed Dr. Minyak by the collar. "If you've hurt him..."

"I'm fine," Kid Danger said as he started to get up. "Just feeling a little weird is all. Not a scratch on me, though."

"I thought you would have at least combusted," Dr. Minyak said as Captain Man punched him to knock him out.

"NO!" Max said as he fell to his knees to pick up the pieces of the aaser. "All that hard work!"

"What hard work?" Billy asked. "I ran you here and I snuck you inside. And you still owe me an ice cream."

"Should we take Max into custody, too?" Kid Danger asked.

"Nah, let his sister deal with him," Captain Man said. "He's out of our jurisdiction."

"Heh heh, jurisdiction," Billy giggled.

"Jurisdiction's not a filthy word," Max told him as he said it out loud and started giggling himself.

"Go home, you two," Captain Man told them. "Kid Danger, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," the sidekick said as he noticed a tear in his costume. "Oh, man, I got a tear in my top."

"You... fiend," Captain Man to Dr. Minyak. "You tore the boy's top!"

* * *

Later than night, Henry Hart climbed in through his bedroom window and changed into a t-shirt and pajama pants before climbing into bed. The next morning, his alarm went off as his hand reached over to shut it off. It was just another ordinary day of school for Henry as he yawned and tossed the blanket off, planting his bare feet on the floor. As he got up and walked past the mirror, he noticed something was strange. He backed up and realized he naked from head to toe.

"What the-" Henry said as he looked around for the clothes he'd worn to bed, not seeing them anywhere. He just shrugged it off and grabbed a quick shower before putting on a fresh pair of clothes. As he closed his bedroom door and headed downstairs, his little sister shrieked at the sight of him.

"Henry's naked!" Piper shouted as she covered her eyes. "This is NOT okay!"

Henry quickly covered himself and ran back to his bedroom, putting on another pair of clothes. But seconds after he zipped up his pants, everything on his body disintegrate, falling to the floor as a dust cloud.

"This... is not good," Henry said to himself as he admired his body int he mirror. "Well, the situation. I still look good."

* * *

 _Hiddenville_

"This... is not good," Max said as he stood naked in the living room, covering his manhood with both hands as Dr. Colosso just stared at him.

"Is this a performance art kind of thing?" the rabbit asked, while Billy was zipping around the couch, naked with his arms raised.

"I've never felt so alive!"

 _ **TO BE CONTINUED...**_


	2. Chapter 2

Max Thunderman was using both hands to cover his exposed parts as he stood in the living room, his clothes just having evaporated off of his body, while his younger brother was zipping around the room, loving the wind against his naked body.

"This is the greatest thing ever!" Billy shouted as Max finally took one hand off of his crotch and used his telekinesis to lift the boy into the air.

"Oh, oh, God-" Max said as he averted his eyes from his brother's swinging genitals as he tried to run in mid-air. "Billy, what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know, I just woke up like this!" Billy told him. "I tried getting dressed, but my clothes turned to dust! I ran through my entire wardrobe, and some of Nora's. She might be a little mad when she finds out her best dress is gone."

"It's a good thing Mom and Dad took Nora overnight to Metroberg for that broadway musical based on the O.J. Simpson trial," Max said. "Which just leaves Phoebe and Chloe."

"Phoebe got up early to take Chloe to the park," Billy told him as he looked down at his swinging penis and giggled at the sight. "Little Max looks funny when I do that."

"Li- Little MAX?" Max asked in shock as he accidentally dropped his brother. "You named your dick after ME?"

"Yeah, because sometimes it gets a big head and I get to punch him until it gets smaller," Billy smiled as he stood up. "Sometimes it throws up white stuff, like that time you ate all that marshmallow filling and got sick!"

"O- okay, shut up!" Max shouted, trying to get that image out of his head as the doorbell rang. "Now what?"

"I'll get it!" Billy shouted.

"Billy, no!" Max shouted, but Billy had already switched the family photo and opened the door, letting Max's band into the house.

"Uh... did we come at a bad time?" Gideon asked. "We had band practice this morning, remember?"

"We were just... doing yoga," Max said. "In... the... nude."

"I love yoga!" Oyster shouted as he started lifting his shirt over his head.

"Oyster, stop, we're not-" Max said, before being cut off my Oyster's boxers hitting him in the face. Max pulled them off of his face and saw what he was holding."AHH!"

"Oh, dude," Gideon said as he looked at Oyster, then looked away before Max and Wolfgang saw what he saw.

"Un dicken ees harden!" Wolfgang shouted as Oyster's erection.

"Oh, that," Oyster said as he looked down. "That happens when I see naked dudes."

Max's eyes widened. "Oyster... are you gay?"

"No, I just really like naked dudes," Oyster smiled as Max rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

"Well, we don't get any nakeder than this!" Billy told him as he started jumping on the couch. "This is even more fun when you're naked!"

"I hate my life," Max said.

"Dude, right now, I hate your life, too," Gideon told him.

* * *

 _Swellview_

"Has anyone heard from Henry?" Ray asked as he sat on the couch in the Man Cave doing a crossword puzzle. "I've been trying to figure out what a five letter word for not wearing clothes is."

The elevator doors opened as Henry rushed out, with two garbage can lids covering both ends of his naked body. Schwoz just looked over at him. "NAKED!"

"Of course!" Ray said as he looked up and saw Henry. A brief silence filled the air as both men started laughing at him.

"This isn't funny!" Henry shouted. "I had to run all the way here like this! I stepped in gum, it's stuck to the bottom of my foot!"

Henry lifted up his bare foot as Ray looked away. "Dude, that's gross! You should have really worn shoes! And, you know, clothes."

"If I could wear shoes and clothes, I wouldn't have ran here naked!" Henry shouted. "Everytime I try to put clothes on, they disappear! What's happening to me!"

Schwoz brought a scanner over and ran it over his body. "Henry, the lids are interfering with the scanner. You need to put them down."

"I- I don't wanna put them down," Henry said as he looked at Ray.

"Come on, Henry, it's just for a moment," Ray said as Henry tossed the trash can lids away, giving Ray and Schwoz a good look at his junk. "What the hell is that?"

"Did you overfeed that thing?" Schwoz asked as he saw the seven inch monster hanging from Henry's body.

"It's huge, I know!" Henry shouted. "It's bigger when I'm excited! It's been that way since I went through the Desensitizer twice."

"Twice, huh?" Ray asked as he stroked his chin.

"I'm naked!" Henry shouted at him. "And I don't know why!"

Schwoz ran the scanner over him, running the report to the computer. "Well, according to this-"

"Dr. Minyak's ray!" Ray shouted, snapping his fingers. "You got zapped with that yesterday!"

"Oh, I guess no one wants to hear Scwoz's words," Schwoz said.

"Tell us your words," Henry said as he went to sat down on the couch, but Ray grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him back up.

"That's a new couch," Ray told him. "Let me cover it in plastic before you sit down."

"Dude, I'm not going to ruin your couch!" Henry told him. "I scrub everywhere in the morning when I shower, I'm clean as a whistle down there."

"Please don't use the word whistle when you refer to that area," Ray told him as Schwoz coughed to get their attention. Henry and Ray looked over at him.

"Your body now has a radiation field around it," Schwoz explained. "It's not lethal, but it does instantly deteriorate any fabric that the body senses is trying to contain it."

"But my blankets didn't deteriorate," Henry said.

"Perhaps because your blankets weren't compressed onto your body as tightly as your clothes are," Schwoz explained. "Plus you toss and turn a lot."

"How do you know that?" Henry asked as Ray looked over at his assistant.

"Anyway, let us figure out how to fix this," Schwoz said. "Perhaps I can get rid of the radiation."

"How do you know that?" Henry shouted as Schwoz left the room. He looked back over at Ray, who was entranced by Henry's huge penis. "RAY!"

"Sorry, it's just so ... hypnotic," Ray said as he shook himself out of it. "Wait, if that ray did this to you, then what did it to-"

Max and Billy suddenly appeared in the Man Cave, holding Chloe's hands, who herself was blindfolded.

"Okay, go home," Max told her.

"I'm going home to scrub my brain!" Chloe said as she disappeared again.

"No, no, no, not more naked boys!" Ray shouted. "This is the Man Cave, not Neverland Ranch!"

"Is that a reference I'm supposed to get?" Billy asked as he looked at Max.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, this is way more nudity than I ever needed to see," Ray said after Billy and Max Thunderman had been teleported into the Man Cave. "Schwoz, is there any of that bleach left to clean the drain? I need to pour it into my eyes."

"Would you stop joking around?" Max asked. "More people have seen my dick today than should be allowed."

"Aw, I like him," Billy said as he playfully stroked it as it started moving. "Hey, he likes me."

"Stop touching it!" Max shouted. "Never rub another man's rhubarb!"

"What's going on?" Henry asked as he walked back in as Billy saw how huge he was down there.

"Ah! Monster!" Billy shouted as he super-sped towards Henry, punching him downstairs as hard as he could. Henry grabbed his crotch in pain as he fell over.

"Why?" Henry asked as Ray and Schwoz just laughed.

"Seriously, though, can you fix this?" Max asked.

"Perhaps," Schwoz said. "But I'd need Dr. Minyak's weapon, the one that zapped you."

"Oh, you mean the one you destroyed?" Max asked as he looked at Ray.

"It wasn't totally destroyed," Ray said.

"You jumped up and down on it," Henry said.

"Yeah, but-"

"You brought it back here and tossed it down the garbage disposal," Henry said.

"Yeah, but-"

"You took the remains out of the disposal and flushed them down the toilet."

"Well, the only other option is to go to Dr. Minyak himself and get the schematics for the laser," Schwoz said. "Perhaps I can build a replacement that can cure them."

"Can we do it before tonight?" Max asked. "Before my parents get home?"

"If I get the schematics and the parts, perhaps in two weeks?" Schwoz asked.

"TWO WEEKS?"

"I go on vacation starting tonight," Schwoz told them. "I'm going to Aruba."

"Aruba is nice this time of year," Ray said as everyone started to agree.

"I'm not spending two weeks like this!" Max told him. "I'll build my own super laser and cure us myself! I'm an evil genius, I can build an un-nudifier. Billy!"

"What? He's adorable?" Billy said as he was stroking Max's member again.

* * *

"Any luck?" Ray asked Max a short while later as Max was tinkering with a gun. He took aim at a naked Ken doll and zapped it. Nothing happened at first, but then it exploded.

"I don't think it worked," Henry said calmly.

"Dammit," Max said. "You don't have any good weapons material here. I need plutonium and dangerous chemicals, and dark lighting."

"Yeah, well, this is what you have to work with, deal with it," Ray told him.

"I need to go back to my lab at home, I need my gear," Max said.

"What about Phoebe? She doesn't know unless Chloe told her," Billy said.

"Yeah, right," Max said. "Like that would-"

Thunder Girl teleported into the cave via Chloe, who teleported back out.

"Max! What did you do!" she asked as she saw all the nudity and instantly covered her eyes. "Whoa! Did not need that image!"

"Isn't it cool?" Billy asked as he thrust his hips. "Look, I can play ping pong with myself!"

"You are enjoying this WAY more than you should," Henry told him.

Thunder Girl kept her eyes covered as she felt her way around. "You are in so much trouble, Max."

Henry quickly ran over to her so she could touch his abs. "Like what you feel?"

"MAX!" Thunder Girl shouted.

* * *

"And that's the whole story," Max told her. "We're trying to find the cure, but we need to get back to my lab."

"You go to your lab, I'm going to Dr. Minyak to get the schematics for the original gun," Ray said as he transformed into Captain Man after chewing his gum.

"Wait," Henry said. "Maybe my costume will stay on since it's not put on normally."

Henry got some gum and chewed it, transforming into Kid Danger. After a few moments, it seemed to work.

"Hey, my costume's staying on!" Kid Danger shouted. "Let's go!"

"We'll meet you back at our place," Thunder Girl said, still keeping her eyes closed. "I'm poking my eyes out when we get home."

* * *

Max, Billy, and Phoebe returned home with Chloe a short while later, arriving in the kitchen.

"Luckily Mom and Dad won't be home until later tonight," Phoebe said as they walked into the living room, where they found Ms. Wong sitting on the couch.

"Hello, Thundermans," the old woman said as she saw Max and Billy. "you're naked!"

"Well, this is the end of a perfect day," Max said, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Chapter 4

"Ms. Wong? What are you doing here?" Phoebe asked.

"I called her," Chloe said. "You left me home alone. I had to be the responsible one."

"Why are you naked?" Ms. Wong asked. "Have some dignity!"

"What's dignity?" Billy whispered to Max.

"Don't worry, you'll never have to worry about that," Max replied as Billy just grinned happily.

"Their clothes... are in the wash," Phoebe said. "You know boys, they play pretty dirty."

"ALL of them?" Ms. Wong asked.

"We don't own many clothes, our parents are cheap," Max told her.

"Well, it was nice of you to come by, Ms. Wong, but you should really get going," Phoebe said as she pushed her toward the door.

"You owe me babysitting money!" Ms. Wong shouted.

"Here you go," Billy said as he handed her a twenty.

"Where did you get that?" Max asked.

"My wallet," Billy said.

"And where is your wallet?" Max asked.

Billy just looked at him.

"You know what, this one was a freebie," Ms. Wong said as she left. As soon as she was gone, Phoebe looked at her brothers.

"Fix this. NOW."

"Okay, okay," Max said as he went down into his lair. Phoebe looked at Billy.

"You are not to leave this house until this is fixed, go tit?" Phoebe said sternly to Billy.

"Fine," Billy said, scowling. "But what am I supposed to do for fun with Nora gone?"

A knock came at the door. Billy answered it and found Oyster standing there, still naked. "Hey, little dude, where's Max?"

"He's busy trying to solve our clothing problem," Billy said. "Why are you still naked?"

"Oh, I left my clothes on the porch, just in case you guys were still doing yoga," Oyster said as Billy looked down at him. "I guess you can come in, but only if you let me play with that."

"'Kay," Oyster said as he strolled in.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Swellview, Captain Man and Kid Danger headed to the Swellview prison to talk to Dr. Minyak. They waited in the meeting room, where Dr. Minyak was led in while handcuffed. He was dressed in an orange prison uniform with a do-rag on his head.

"Dr. Minyak, what a pleasant surprise," Captain Man said.

"You... called me here," Dr. Minyak said.

"So I did," Captain Man said as he sat down. "We need the plans for their weapon that was accidentally broken yesterday."

"The one that you said wasn't an accident as you were peeing on it?" Dr. Minyak asked.

"Yes, well-"

"Before you lit the remains on fire and once again urinated on to put out the flames?"

"Just tell us where the plans are!" Captain Man shouted.

Meanwhile, Kid Danger was standing to the side when he looked down at his hand, where his glove turned to dust.

"Oh, man..."

"And what will you do if I don't tell you?" Dr. Minyak asked. "Send me to prison?"

"Uh, Captain Man?" Kid Danger asked.

"Not now, my faithful sidekick," Captain Man said. "If you don't give me those schematics, I'll... have your hideout repainted."

"So?"

"In plaid."

"Uh, Captain Man?" Kid Danger asked as his boots started to turn to ash.

"What is it?" Captain Man asked as he saw what was happening. "Well, would you look at the time! We have to go."

"What about the plans?" Dr. Minyak asked.

"E-mail them to me! Hotstud at !" Captain Man shouted as he pushed Kid Danger out the door. As soon as they got outside, the sidekick's costume exploded in a shower of dust. "Are you alright?"

"I'm cold," Henry told him.

"Doesn't show," Captain Man said as he looked down at his sidekick's massive package. "Let's see if Max has found a cure yet."

* * *

Billy was sitting on Oyster's lap, with his head resting on the older boy's shoulder.

"This is nice," Billy said. "I've never sat still for this long. I think I- I really like you.""

"Want to be boyfriends?" Oyster asked. "Is that what two dudes call each other?"

"I think so," Billy told him. "Too bad I have to start wearing clothes again soon once Max gets his thing working."

"Well, it's not like we can't be boyfriends, even if we're wearing clothes, right?" Oyster asked as he started to panic. "Billy, I don't want to lose you. What if we're dressed and we forget about each other?"

"I don't want that," Billy said as he quickly kissed Oyster. The two just stared at each other and went back in, pressing their lips against each other.

* * *

"Alright, I think I got it!" Max said as he applied the last screw to the laser gun.

"What? You finally got hair down there?" Dr. Colosso asked. "You're 16, shouldn't you have at least one hair?"

"So I pave the parking lot, it's more comfortable," Max said as he picked up the gun. "Now I just need a test subject."

"What about you?" Dr. Colosso asked.

"Are you kidding? This might make my head explode," Max said. "Hey, Billy!"

* * *

Max headed up to the living room with the laser. "Billy, I think I have the cure!"

Billy, still sitting on the couch after Oyster had left, was fighting back the tears. He was finally about to start a relationship with someone, and he couldn't let anyone ruin it.

"NO!" Billy said as he sped at Max, grabbing the gun and shattering it on the ground. "I'm never wearing clothes again! Never!"

Billy ran out of the house as fast as he could, leaving Max just standing there confused.

"What. The. Hell."

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Chapter 5

Max finally found Billy sitting under a tree alone in the park. It was Billy's secret spot that naturally everyone knew about. Max sat down next to him.

"Why'd you break the laser? It could have fixed us," Max told him.

"I don't want to be fixed," Billy told him. "I want to stay this way."

"Billy, you can't stay naked for the rest of your life," Max told him. "Mom and Dad will flip out if they find out what's happening. And what would your hero named be, the Flash? You'll never get your cape like this."

"If I get fixed, I can't be with someone I like," Billy whispered.

"Yeah, and who's that?" Max asked with a laugh.

"Oyster," Billy told him. "I kissed him and I really liked it. I think I might like boys, Max. Either that or Little Max-"

"Stop calling it that!"

"Or Tiny Max has a magnet that makes it rise up whenever I see boys now," Billy told him.

"You're gay?" Max asked. "Whoah. Look, Billy, you're my brother and I love you, but Oyster?"

Max just looked at his sibling and the hurt look on his face. "If Oyster doesn't like you with clothes on, then he's not the guy you want. A boy will like you no matter what."

"So you're not mad at me for being gay?" Billy asked.

"No, I'm mad at you for breaking the laser!" Max shouted as he slapped Billy on the back of the head.

* * *

Ray and Henry arrived at the Thundermans house, as Henry kept his hands over his privates. Ray rang the doorbell as the two just stood there awkwardly.

"You know, you can look me in the eye," Henry told him.

"Not while you're in the nude," Ray told him. "It's too weird."

"Oh, yeah, is this weird?" Henry asked as he touched the tip of his penis to Ray's leg and rubbed it on him. "You like that?"

"Ew, stop that!" Ray shouted as he jumped back. "I just washed these pants!"

Phoebe opened the door to see Henry with a penis in hand, chasing Ray. She coughed to get their attention as the two stopped where they were.

"We were just-"

"I can see what you were doing," Phoebe told them. "Max's lair is downstairs. Just take the chute."

* * *

"Whoa," Dr. Colosso said as he looked at Max, Billy, and Henry. "I haven't seen a wall of cock since Dark Mayhem fused five hundred chickens together to seal off the White House."

"This isn't funny," Max said. "I used my last energy crystal on the gun Billy broke. That was the main part of the laser. Without it, I don't think I can fix this."

"So, we're stuck like the forever?" Henry asked. "I can't go back to my regular life like this."

"I'll say, we'll be the laughing stocks of the hero community," Ray told him. "What we need is another energy crystal."

"Good luck," Max told them. "They're really rare. I got the last one off of e-bay."

"Someone somewhere has to have one," Ray said. "Who did you buy the last one from?"

"Someone in Seattle, some dork who collects these things, he needed the money for rent or something," Max told them.

"Maybe he has more," Henry said. "Do you know where he lives?"

"I'm sure I still have the address somewhere," Max told them.

"To the Man copter!" Ray shouted. "Just as soon as I put down the plastic."

* * *

 _Seattle_

"Alright, let me do the talking," Ray said as they went to knock on the door. It opened as Freddie Benson looked out at the group. Instead of focusing on the three naked boys, he just looked at Ray. "Oh, damn."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Freddie asked angrily.

"You know him?" Henry asked.

"Yeah, well, he kind of, sort of, used to be... the original Kid Danger."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	6. Chapter 6

"What do you mean he's the original Kid Danger?" Henry asked. "I'M the first Kid Danger."

"No, you're the second," Ray told him. "Freddie was Kid Danger for about two years before you."

"This loser?" Max laughed.

"Hey, I'm not the one with his dick hanging out," Freddie told him.

"Okay, I want to hear this story," Henry said.

"Henry, this isn't the time-"

"SPILL IT!" Henry shouted. "Or I will teabag everything in the Mancave."

"Fine," Ray said. "It was a few years ago. I was in Seattle on business, trying to stop the Mad Gimp from blowing up an orphanage. He got the jump on me and Freddie just happened to be in the area. He untied me and helped me save the orphans. We started talking and I needed a sidekick, so I hired him. And for a while, we kept Swellview safe."

"What happened?" Billy asked as he ate a bucket of popcorn.

"Billy, where did you get that?" Max asked.

"I ran out to get some during the flashback," Billy said.

"What happened?" Freddie asked. "That's a good question, Ray. Why don't you tell them what happened? Why don't you tell them how you dumped me without even saying so much as a goodbye? Tell them how you used me and tossed me away like I was nothing?"

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that," Ray said.

"How much more complicated?" Henry asked.

"We might have, well, we kind of-"

"We had sex," Freddie told him.

Everyone just looked over at Ray.

"You did WHAT?" Henry asked. "I thought you were straight!?"

"I AM!" Ray shouted. "It was a heat of the moment thing, okay? We'd just barely survived defeating Kitten Hitler, and we were both pretty banged up. We were bandaging each other up, and it just kind of... happened."

"That didn't just happen, Ray," Freddie told him. "That wasn't just sex, at least not to me. You made love to me. You knew exactly what to do, and where to touch me. You made me feel like I was... loved."

"Freddie-"

"Popcorn?" Billy whispered to Max.

"Yeah, this is getting good," Max said as he took a handful.

"Then the next morning, you fired me. You took back the bubblegum, the weapons, everything. Told me that I couldn't be a part of your life anymore, and you just... left," Freddie told him. "I thought I meant something to you."

"Ray, what the hell?" Henry asked him.

"It's not like that," Ray said. "You want the truth? I don't think you can handle the truth."

"Try us," Henry said.

"I was falling in love," Ray said. "It had been a long time coming, but the more time I was with Freddie... the more I wanted him as more than just a sidekick. Then after everything with Kitten Hitler and how we barely survived... I couldn't handle it if he got hurt or were killed. So I had to let him go. It killed me to do it, but I wanted to protect him."

"Did you ever... have feelings for me?" Henry asked.

"Don't be gross," Ray said. "Of course not. I'm like, 98% straight. Freddie just happened to be that other 2%."

"Look, this has been educational and all," Max said. "But I'd kind of like to put some pants on."

"We need one of the red crystals you sold to Max on E-Bay," Henry told him. "It's the only thing that can fix the nudifier ray we were shot with."

"Oh, so you need something from me again?" Freddie asked. "You're just going to get what you want and walk away, out of my life again?"

"Freddie, don't do this," Ray told him.

"Do what, Ray?" Freddie asked him. "Do you know what it's like to have your heart consistently broken? Carly, Sam, you... I'm tired of being hurt, Ray. The only worthwhile relationship I have is with some guy named Kendall, but all we do is exchange e-mails, I've never even met the guy."

"Poor guy," Billy said as he hugged Freddie. "I'm here for you."

"I don't know what to say," Ray said. "What do you want me to do?"

"We could beat him up and take the crystal," Max suggested.

"We're not doing that," Ray told him.

"You want the crystal?" Freddie asked. "Fine, but I have a couple of conditions."

"Name it," Ray said as he looked over at Henry. "We'll do anything."

"Okay, I want one more night with you," Freddie said. "You have to say at least through the end of breakfast, and you have to make me feel as special as you did that night."

"Fine," Ray told him. "I can do that. Is that all?"

"No," Freddie said as he looked at Henry. "I help you fix them, but then you have to let Henry go. You have to cut him out of your life the way you cut me out. You have to fire Henry as Kid Danger. He can never be your sidekick again. I know you're a man of your word, Ray. You promise me those two things, and I'll give you every red crystal I have in my collection."

"Ray," Henry said. "We can find another way."

"We've tried every other way," Ray told him, his voice shaking. "I'm sorry, Henry. You're fired."


	7. Chapter 7

"I finally get someone naked in my room, and it's another guy and my kid brother," Max said as he sat at his workbench to make another laser. "Try not to... get your junk on everything. Going to have to have this place sterilized after this all over."

"Hey, Max, I just googled what 'teabagging' is," Billy told him. "I'm going to do it all over the house!"

"Billy, you keep your tea bags where I can see them! Wait, that didn't come out right," Max told him. "Henry, can you keep him from violating everything?"

Henry was laying on Max's bed, just staring up at the ceiling. "How could Ray do this to me? I was his partner, his friend. He just... cut me loose without even asking what I wanted."

"The other option was to spend the rest of your life naked," Max told him. "You can find other jobs."

"I don't want another job, I want to be Kid Danger," Henry told him. "I want to help people."

"Billy, what are you doing to the meatloaf!?" Phoebe shouted from upstairs.

"Helping people is overrated," Max said. "You want a real career? Turn evil, like me. I'm going to be the biggest, baddest supervillain ever."

"You live in your parent's basement and your little brother named his genitals after you," Henry told him. "Besides, you're kind of... lame. Your evil plans kind of suck."

"And just what kind of evil plans would you come up with?" Max asked.

"Well, for starters I'd make sure everyone knew who was boss," Henry told him. "I'd destroy something big, something the town really loves to show them I mean business." Swellview has a huge statue of Captain Man in the town square that everyone loves, I'd start there."

"That- that is so evil," Max said with a laugh. "Want to be my sidekick?"

"I stop guys like you, I don't team up with them," Henry said. "I don't want to be evil. I want people to like me."

"Billy, get those out of the fish tank!" Phoebe shouted from upstairs.

"Then... be your own hero, join the hero league," Max said as he focused on the laser. "You could probably pass the exam real easily. Hell, they might even give you Swellview to protect. Captain Man's not in the League, they'd probably kick him to the curb and give his city to you if you hooked up with them."

"But I have no powers, no weapons, and no costume," Henry said.

"The Hero League could provide you with two of those things," Max sighed. "Why am I helping you plot a heroic career? Why are you even down here? And get off my bed! And- Billy, those better not be balls on my head."

"Your hair feels so soft on them," Billy told him as he stood behind his brother. "What kind of conditioner do you use?"

"When Ray comes back with the crystal in the morning, I am super gluing your balls to a pair of pants," Max angrily said.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Freddie's apartment in Seattle, Ray and Freddie were sitting on the couch, kissing passionately. Freddie pulled back and looked sad.

"Something's wrong," Freddie said. "It doesn't feel like you're into it."

"Of course I'm not into it this time, you're blackmailing me into firing my partner," Ray told him. "Henry's not just a sidekick, he's a good friend. Without him, Captain Man is nothing."

"You said the same thing about me, once," Freddie told him. "Before you just... cut me off. I had to move back in with my mom for a while. I almost never got back out of that situation."

"I loved you, Freddie," Ray told him. "You're the only man I have ever loved, or ever will. That night we made love... I thought about how devastating it would be if you got hurt because of me. You were starting to become my everything."

"Then why didn't you give me the choice?" Freddie asked. "We could have talked this over."

"The only other option would be for me to quit being Captain Man," Ray told him. "And Swellview needs a hero. I can't let people get hurt because I'm in love."

Freddie got up and went to his personal safe, taking out a red crystal, tossing it to Ray. Take it and go. I can't see you like this. I- I love you, Ray. If you make love to me, I want it to be genuine. Take care of yourself."

Ray stood up, putting the crystal on the table as he pulled Freddie into a deep kiss...

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	8. Chapter 8

Ray and Freddie were laying in bed together, with Ray holding Freddie's head close to his heart. The two had spent the entire night making love, reminding Ray of how much he loved his former sidekick.

"Marry me," Ray whispered as he gently rubbed Freddie's shoulder.

"What?"

"I can't do this anymore, Freddie. I can't ignore my feelings for you. I need you, and I won't leave you again."

"What about being Captain Man?'

"I'll find a way to deal with that, but I just know that I need you more than anything. Be my husband, Freddie."

Freddie raised his head and thought about his answer.

* * *

Max woke up in his bed, with Billy's balls on his face. "BILLY!"

"Your head was so warm," Billy told him.

"Where the hell is Ray? It's morning," Max said as he sat up. "And where's Henry?"

"Up on the couch," Billy told him. "He thought it was sleeping with another guy, so I took his place down here."

"As soon as Ray gets here, I never want to see another guy's balls again," Max told him. "I can't wait until you can wear pants again."

"Come on, Max, you didn't like hanging out with me?" Billy asked.

"Not while naked!" Max shouted. "But... I do like spending time with you. Maybe after we fix this, we can hang out more."

"You really mean it?" Billy asked.

"You're my kid brother, we have to stick together," Max said as he hugged him. "I'm sorry we never really hung out, just the two of us. Now here you are with a boyfriend. You're growing up too fast."

"Are you upset because you don't have a boyfriend, too?" Billy asked.

"Billy, I don't want a boyfriend," Max said. "I like girls."

"I thought I did, too, until I met Oyster," Billy told him. "You just need to find the right guy. Speaking of which, he's coming over soon. Do you think we'll be cured by then? It hurts sitting on his lap when we're both naked."

"I hope so," Max told him. "Come on, let's go get Henry up and wait for him. Wait, Billy, are you sitting ON Oyster's erection?"

"Yeah, it's fine at first, but then it always gets really warm after we kiss for a while."

"Oh my God," Max whispered as he rubbed his forehead in frustration.

* * *

Henry had just stepped out of the shower upstairs, having had to rub one out. It had been forever since he'd been with a girl and was tired of getting dumped. He really wanted to find someone, but he was also tired of girls leaving him for reality t.v.

As he headed downstairs, he heard a knock at the door. He rushed to open it, hoping it was Ray. Instead, it was Max's friends Oyster and Wolfgang.

"Come on in, guys," Henry sighed as Wolfgang looked down at Henry's package. "I just got out of the shower and it's cold!"

* * *

Ray was getting dressed as he stared over at Freddie, who was still in bed. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Ray kissed him gently as he picked up the crystal. "I'll come back once I've cured Henry, Billy, and Max."

"Wait, three people? I thought you were just curing the two older dudes. I thought the younger kid wanted to be an actual nudist."

"What's wrong?" Ray asked.

"Ray, that's not a very strong crystal," Freddie told him. "You'll be lucky to cure two of them. That thing will shatter if you use it a third time."

* * *

"I will be so glad to be able to put on pants again," Max said. "And I won't have to see dude's dicks anymore."

"Oh, come on, this wasn't that bad," Henry laughed. "Besides, I think mine is kind of cute."

"Billy named his after me," Max told him.

"Because he admires you," Henry said. "You're his big brother, he just wants you to like him."

"Can I like him without liking his dick?"

"So, like someone's dick that you're not related to," Henry suggested.

"I like gi-"

Henry put his hand to Max's lips. "Heard the song before, buddy."

Ray ran through the door with the crystal.

"It's about time!" Henry shouted. "Let's get this show on the road."

"There's a problem," Ray told him. "One where one of you is going to have to make a choice."

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	9. Chapter 9

"So, who do we decide stays like this forever?" Max asked as he looked at Billy and Henry. "Whoever stays this way can never have a normal life. Well, Billy, good luck to you."

"What?" Henry asked in shock. "Dude."

"What, he likes this," Max said as he saw Oyster in the kitchen and sighed. Billy was happy with Oyster. He had to let Billy have a normal life. "I'll do it."

"Seriously?" Billy asked. "What changed your mind?"

"You, kid," Max told him. "You need to have a normal life with Oyster. Maybe I can just be a naked supervillain or something. The Flasher!"

"Max, I have an idea," Henry said. "It's crazy, but it might just work."

"What did you have in mind, kid?" Ray asked as Henry looked at Max.

"You're not gonna like this."

* * *

Ray set up the laser as Billy, Max, and Henry gathered together.

"You ready?" Henry asked.

"No," Max said. "I hate this."

"The ray only has enough energy for two people," Henry said. "o what if were the same person?"

"It's worth a shot," Ray said. "I say you go for it."

"Fine," Max said as he pulled Henry's body close to his. "Let's just do this."

Max and Henry leaned into each other, pressing their lips together. Max held Henry tightly, their naked bodies warming each other as Henry wrapped his arms around Max's waist while they kissed. Ray took aim with the laser and fired, hitting the trio with the blast for as long as the crystal could hold out before it finally burned out.

"How do you guys feel?" Ray asked as Henry and Max were deep into their make out session, ignoring the rest of the world. "Uh... guys?"

"I think we should let them be alone," Billy said as he zipped upstairs to put on some clothes before heading back down. "I think it worked!"

Billy's shirt then started crumbling to ash, but his pants still remained. "What the-"

"The crystal only worked, but only on our lower halves," Max said as he sat shirtless on the couch. "Meaning we're all shirtless forever."

"Hey, as long as I get to wear pants," Henry said. "Plus my Kid Danger costume isn't affected now. And your skintight Thunder costumes shouldn't disintegrate, either. So we can all still be heroes, right Ray?"

"I'm retiring as Captain Man," Ray said as Henry jumped up. "I love Freddie, but I can't put him at risk with this life. Fortunately, I have a successor with you, Henry. Are you ready to retire Kid Danger and be the new Captain Man?"

"I- I don't know what to say," Henry said. "I'm going to miss working with you."

"I'm still going to check in on you now and then, but Swellview's your city to protect now," Ray said as they hugged. "I know you can do this, Henry, I'm proud of you."

"And I have a boyfriend now, it looks like happy endings for everyone!" Billy shouted.

"Yeah, everyone," Max said as he headed downstairs to his lair.

* * *

Henry followed Max downstairs, landing on his bed. "Max-"

"Shouldn't you be fighting crime in your new identity?" Max asked as he sat at his desk.

"Not without you," Henry said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Scwoz has been talking about moving to Aruba, and my friend Charlotte moved away. I could use a super genius to help me with gadgets and stuff. But you'd have to move to Swellview."

Max just looked up at him. "Is that only reason you want me there?"

"That and this," Henry said as he leaned in to kiss him. "I love you, Max Thunderman, even if you are evil. Think about it. You know where to find me."

* * *

 _Three Months Later_

Henry arrived at the Man Cave, where Max was working on some new inventions.

"Hey, Max, what's new?"

"Just working on some upgrades to your costume," Max told him. "More protective armor and a stronger wrist mounted laser. Your villains are getting tougher."

"Which is why I think it's time," Henry said. "We need to find a new Kd Danger."

 **THE END... FOR NOW**


End file.
